A Slang Word For Penis.

I’m writing this blog post because I’m blocked. And I know that I’m blocked because I’ve spent fifteen minutes deciding whether to use ‘todger’ or ‘wanger’ as a reference to the male genitalia – and this mammoth decision, that no doubt will have a huge impact on the cannon of literature, is in a line of dialogue. After Googling ‘todger’ and trying to find the origins of the word, and whether an Australian character would say it, I decided to close the laptop.

So I picked up a book: Writers On Writing (collected essays from The New York Times). I started reading, thinking to myself that this is more constructive than deliberating over the word ‘wanger’.

And coincidentally, the essay I read stated that a writer should write every day. Well, I’d tried to write and had got stuck on a slang word for penis.

I don’t believe an author should write every day – but he should try to. And I did.

It seems that when attempting an art form we are encouraged to practice, whether it’s watercolour, the trombone, tap dancing or writing. Yes we should work as hard as possible, but the onus on writers to write everyday has become an obligation: once something becomes an act one ‘ought’ to do, the art will be lost.

I’ll try and write again tomorrow, and by then, maybe I’ll be able to decide on a suitable word: ‘wanger’ is definitely not working.


11 Comments on A Slang Word For Penis.

  1. Jim Murdoch
    November 5, 2015 at 4:04 PM (4 years ago)

    I haven’t written today either. I removed half a dozen commas and changed ‘where’ to ‘when’ but you can’t really count that as writing. Then I watched an old BBC documentary on Philip K. Dick. I’m ten months into the editing/rewriting of a novel and I’m about done in more ways than one. My character is a writer and at one point he makes the following observation:

    “Only a writer wouldn’t mind winning a free weekend in Skegness during the off season. They’re dull as dishwater. They ensconce themselves at their desks and they write (with gusto when manageable), one word at a time (preferably in the right order ), assiduously avoiding adverbs, clichés, too many exclamation points, too much honesty and the word suddenly; they finish what they write (if it sounds like writing they rewrite it ) and then they flog what they write. Such rigmarole!”

    I’ve never taken a creative writing class in my life and I’m rather glad about that. There are techniques to writing but there shouldn’t be rules. Rules hem you in. That said I don’t write for a living. If writing is a job then the advice to write every day is sound. It makes as much sense as telling a joiner to join every day (or whatever it is that joiners do) or he won’t get paid at the end of the week.

    As regards Antipodean penises you might find this link of some help: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Australian_English_terms_for_body_parts

    • Dan Proops
      May 7, 2016 at 4:30 PM (4 years ago)

      Sorry for the long – get back. Use any ol’ adverb and adjective you feel like!

  2. Elaine Moxon
    January 23, 2016 at 5:19 PM (4 years ago)

    I’ve had days like that. My troubles often stem from whether a word has a Germanic/Old English root or a Latin one (I’m writing about 5thC Saxons). You see, Latin words don’t always sound right in dialogue. I find myself pottering round the kitchen sounding them out while I wash up and hope the block evaporates. So good to know I’m not alone. Incidentally, what word did you settle on?

    • Dan Proops
      May 7, 2016 at 4:25 PM (4 years ago)

      Todger – lol. yea , I use any old word as long as it fits. Dan

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    January 2, 2019 at 1:54 AM (12 months ago)

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    • Dan Proops
      February 3, 2019 at 10:13 AM (10 months ago)

      Ha! Good pun.
      And thanks for the comment.
      Have a great week

      Dan :)

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